Why aren't you a Trump supporter?

I understand geography enough to know that Belgium is not a “beautiful city”, that Paris is not in fucking Germany, that India does share a border with China, that that border is peppered with Bhutan and Nepal, not “Button” and “Nipple”, that time zones exist, that “shithole countries” do not, that “England” and “the UK” are not the same thing, that you cannot build a wall in Colorado to keep out New Mexico, and that the Bronx is not and has never been “a very wonderful place in fucking Germany”

authoritarians can get down on the floor and bite my ass, yesterday

When I go Greenland shopping and Denmark says no I don’t melt down like a fucking WIMP

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I know that sounds DO NOT cause cancer.

If someone works for me, I actually pay them

I don’t call Tim Cook “Tim Apple” and if I do I don’t deny what’s right there on the videotape because I’m too much of a fucking WIMP to handle Reality

Have you ever been a victim of gaslighting? What happened?

I don’t believe that Saudi Arabia and Russia “will vedoop bedeep uhhhh”

I have complete contempt for intentional stupidity

I can count

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I didn’t get out of military service with fucking “bone spurs” that I paid a doctor to write

I don’t pretend not to know who David Dooky is just because he can deliver votes

I understand that you can’t just fucking nuke a hurricane

How can someone effectively handle a targeted individual?

I don’t respect a sleazeball who lies about his height just so he can lie about his weight

I have an acute aversion to scumbags

I understand that you can’t inject bleach or light

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I have complete contempt for traitorism

I have no sicko desire to control women or have a bizarro hangup with “blood”

I have complete contempt for fakery

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I don’t buy bullshit

I don’t believe in asking the people of Iowa “how stupid are the people of Iowa”

I know the difference between Sioux City and Sioux Falls and even Sioux Center

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I don’t believe there is a fucking “president of the Virgin Islands”

I don’t hold serial bankrupters in high regard

I know who the president of Turkey really is

Can you name a female actress who has had bad timing or luck in her film career?

I don’t hide in my hotel room while everybody else keeps the appointed time and place because my hair might get wet

I don’t cotton to rapists

I understand that when you lose an election you step the fuck aside and take it like a man rather than invade the Capitol while your loss is being made official just because you’re a fucking snowflake WIMP

What are some ten strong legal evidences that are needed for a divorce?

I can read

When a reporter declines to join me in the rooftops fantasy I don’t go on stage and gyrate to mock his congenital disability

I have a reading level above third grade

Why is my older sister so mean to me as if I was her enemy?

I know the difference between “George Bush” and “Jeb Bush”

I don’t watch or listen to advertising

I know that he didn’t run against “Obamna”

Is it wise to choose your family over your honor?

I understand historical events enough to know there were no airports in the eighteenth century, that Canada didn’t burn the White House half a century before it existed and that World War Two already happened

Let us count the ways. Captain Obvious says:

It’s uncool to set up soft porn pics with your own preteen daughter

If an abortion doesn’t affect you, why do people make it a big deal?

I don’t buy made-up stories of “thousands and thousands of people dancing on rooftops”

I don’t run and hide from a debate like a fucking WIMP just becuase some moderator asked pointed questions

I see through liars

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I understand how hurricane paths work

I respect other cultures and don’t respect those who don’t

I don’t believe Nazis, Klan klowns and white supremacists chanting “Jews will not replace us” comprise “very fine people”

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I don’t respect shameless hucksters who try to sell a vitamin where you have to mail in your pee

I know what Nikki Haley’s authority with the National Guard is

I took the same Oath and took it seriously

It seems that I am cursed with bad luck. How do I break such a curse?

I have complete contempt for fraudsters, and even less for repeat ones

It’s uncool to lurk around teenage girls’ dressing rooms

I’ve never tried to pretend the word would means wouldn’t

Fuck that piece of orange shit, fuck his idiocracy, fuck his sexism, fuck his racism, fuck his religionism, fuck his divisionism, fuck his lying, fuck his orange face paint, fuck his worship of Cult of Ignorance, fuck his Cult, fuck his jingoistic horseshit, fuck his manuipulations, fuck his toddler-age WIMPism, fuck his fucked-up values of ME ME ME and did I mention ME, and fuck him personally with a giant razor sharp dildo that’s been preheated to 204.7° F and built to the dimensions of the Washington Monument. Slowly.

I don’t believe the way to respond to a hurricane is to call a press conference to describe it as “wet from the standpoint of water”, to distribute Play Doh, or to stand at a podium throwing rolls of paper towels as if they were bottles of ketchup

EVEN FUCKING MIKE PENCE understands that

I respect women and don’t respect those who don’t

A real man doesn’t grab women by the p***y

Those are a few reasons off the top of my head. How ’bout you?

I know that if I or anyone I know commits a crime we’ll go to the clink

I actually pay taxes

I know there’s no such thing as invisible planes

I know the difference between “give me your tired, your poor” and “they’re poisoning our blood”